Alcoholism

Photo album shows memories,
scattered dreams.
Times when I didn't care.
I didn't know who I was.
The poison blocked any emotion,
yet brought out the worst in me.
Sober, 4 days, I hate it.
I know I need to rid it.
Set myself free.
I felt invincible.
Bulletproof.
All I did was hate myself even more.
Nothing can take that pain away.
Until I can see, without intoxication.
I am so loved.
Yet feel so alone.
I do it, to myself.
Push them all away.
I tell them lies so they leave me alone.
It's better off this way.
I need to learn to love myself again,
I just don't know how.
All I know is how to abuse myself, that makes me feel good.
The poison makes me lie.
I hate it,
I need to learn control.
Tell myself I can do it.
Give myself the chance.
Sober. Alive. Happy. Hope.