The Empath life.

It's tiring being an empath and being able to hear what people are thinking and feel what they are feeling. Energy of others can be really important to how we react/think/feel ourselves.I can often feel how someone else is feeling even a complete stranger, or I get a string of events in pictures in my head, or a story/backstory of a soul or a person, without even knowing them. The worst is the people I do know, when my partner is in a foul mood energetically it really effects me. It can really mess up my energy, no matter how good and send me in a spin, because Im not expecting it. I am so sensitive to energies everywhere that sometimes it's really hard to deflect them, but in that way I am meant to feel them because it can teach me something.

 It's also something you can switch off, but for me it's either switch it completely off or completely on and I do like to know I'm still connected to whatever force is driving it. I also have dreams that are psychic or futuristic. These happen all the time and can often tell me what will happen in my future or something I need to know. These dreams are the ones I ALWAYS remember. There's NO forgetting them and there's a definitive knowing of what is important and what isn't when it comes to dreams for me now. There are times I can hear what my partner is thinking. Sometimes it is us laying in bed and I can hear the thoughts looping over in his head. An example is when he was starting a new job he was freaking out about it, I could feel/hear his mind looping over the thoughts that he hopes he will be good enough and do a good job.

I often don't even tell him I can feel/hear it and I will just give him a hug. Sometimes the energy is like a hurricane and he is looping thoughts over so much it just drives me insane and I get upset and even I can't communicate how I'm feeling about it. It can be really hard, but I ALWAYS know what's going on, it's kind of creepy. It helps in fights though, if he is being stubborn and is saying I'm being attacking or having a go at him, I can be like 'Ok just stand there, concentrate and how is your energy right now?' and he will often be like......'really chaotic, shit I'm sorry' and he will realise that he is in fact the one who was being the attacking person without realising, however taking it as a defensive position so he felt better about himself at a time when he felt negative and unworthy for whatever reason. It's interesting because he often doesn't realise how huge his energy actually is and I have to remind him all the time how damn infectious his energy can be. It can really play into how we interact, if I feel he is off, sometimes I will ask him what's up?

Sometimes I just don't have the energy myself to get into it, and sometimes I know I have to let it go until he realises. I am always able to get direction which helps. He internalises so much that it can make it really hard to get him to externalise, however being able to read him helps so much with that, because most of the time I can be like 'Ok so this is exactly what you are thinking and feeling and you need to get more confidence and love yourself more and not feel so weak willed' or something like that. He has behavioural patterns which are really easy to read too, and even cognitive patterns like catastrophic thoughts or unconscious thoughts that are occurring and he doesn't even know. We don't fight often, but when we do it's because we are really off the same energy fields and we are grating against each other. Externalising communication helps, which of course is something I've had to teach him, since it wasn't something he learnt at home.
Sometimes I can feel/think through photos too. I can see a photo and know what has happened to that person/hear their story through a message/see images that represent where they've been/where their soul has been.
Sometimes I can just feel it from energy. I had a lady come and sit next to me at uni and I could feel her 'knowing it all' energy but there was also an insecurity there. So she was shoving this egotistic energy of knowing everything and really what is she there for, she knows everything! energy but that was just to cover up the energy which was more of 'holy shit how am I going to do this in a career?' It's much more interesting when you can do it with a complete stranger, because it honestly becomes so second nature that you forget it's happening, until you feel it from someone you don't know at all and then you're like, wow that's incredible.

Being connected to the spiritual world is a fascinating one, sometimes really hard to work out whether you are just crazy, but most of the time, especially when you have friends who are also spiritual who can identify the same things that you can, you realise that you are just naturally psychic. I have a few friends now who I have become in contact with some way or another and it's so great to be able to talk about that stuff and not feel subjected to feeling like you have to internalise it all. I am lucky though because my Mum is also very spiritual so that has been interesting.

When my grandma was passing away in July, my mum and I had a huge spiritual connection. We both felt the same things on different days, Grandma was really sick and they couldn't do surgery as she was too old and frail so she went into palliative care, where they inject you with painkillers so you slowly pass away peacefully and pain free. It took Grandma 6 days to pass away slowly, and she passed away on the exact same day Grandpa did 13 years earlier, their funeral was on the same day and time and at the same place too.

We both felt my Grandpa there at different times in the room, we felt her son who was a stillbirth in the room at different times. i was able to pass on information of what stage of passing away Grandma was at. At one point she was moving her feet laying in bed and I was able to pass on that she was walking. Another friend of Mums whose father had passed away in palliative care had actually experienced her dad speaking the whole way through the painkillers and the passing. So at every point he got to 'walking' he spoke to a different person and whilst laying in the hospital bed slowly dying they could hear his conversations! Absolutely incredible stuff!

We also had a moment one morning where my mum was getting ready to go down to the hospital and I had woken up as I heard her up. She was mumbling to herself about what cd to get. I asked her what was up and she said she started brushing her teeth and she said my grandpa was bugging her to get a certain cd (my grandpa died july 1999) and I was laughing at her because she kept saying 'Can i finish brushing my teeth first please?' I could feel him bugging her and he was telling her what crystals to take to the hospital to help grandma pass easily and energetically. It was an amazing moment where we both felt/heard him. Mum had shut him out since he died, but he found his way back in when he needed to!