Prose 2

So even though he had a seizure, Kane felt he needed to go to work. The adrenalin had hit hard and fast and he had no idea he could be putting himself in danger. That night when he came home, he realised, Oh shit I had a seizure! He must have been in a serious denial and I had to keep reminding him how dangerous it was to not take it easy after what his body had been through.

The issue with Kanes work, was that it was casual and he really could not take time off. However, he also had this idea that he had to work and could not ask for time off. He also did not speak to anyone about the seizure. It was as if he was embarrassed about it. We are completely different people as I'd be telling people so they could watch out for me. He came home with a giant headache, possibly from smashing his head during the seizure and his whole body was sore, from the muscles tensing for 10 minutes.

He started going through what I would call a grieving phase for his life before the seizure. His body had changed, his mind had changed and his soul had changed. He was ready to change. After some audial interference and synchronous thoughts, he realised this was his time to change. It is time to break away from the stressful career that was killing him and ruining his relationships and work out what to do next.

Emotionally he was unwound, but there was an inkling that he knew he was meant for great things, but still he could not switch himself from the darker thoughts and get to the light side, where he knew he was safe. He knew there was something underlying, sitting there in his unconscious that he needed to get to, and there was no other way to get to this except hypnotherapy. Months before I had found a lady in our area who did hypnotherapy on people and I just knew he needed to see her. Finally it was time for him to see her, and he made an appointment. I had booked an interstate trip so he had some time to himself after the seizure, as it really had rocked him and having a grumpy partner and toddler probably wasn't the best thing to have around him.


The hypnotherapy session would be the complete game changer.

Prose 1

After the paramedic had been and gone, I didn't know what to do. I felt instantly guilty because I had started a fight about finances and I know that was what had made him stress out to the point of rage. After the seizure, we spoke of what had happened and I learnt that he had no memory of what we were talking about, but he just felt like his body was taken over by an external force. He had kicked a bucket of plastic balls before he fell on the ground and he did not remember this at all. He did not remember the seizure and he felt 'out of body' the entire time, watching himself and watching my reaction the whole time. He felt his dark emotional issues unwind as he seizured on the floor, his body flung around, thrashing and out of control, his uncontrollable screaming which the person on the other end of 000 thought was my child screaming, but all he remembers is he felt like he was watching, from afar, almost glad this was happening, because it was 'time' that he came to the surface.

The seizure brought some instant change, especially when it came to how we felt about what had happened. Our toddler wanted to give daddy a cuddle straight away, even though he sat completely out of it on the couch, not knowing what to do next or what to say. The seizure also brought intense denial as well, considering his first instinct after having the seizure, was to go to work, does this not say it all? I begged him to stay home, "A seizure is not normal", "You are going to kill yourself!" Maybe secretly this is what he wanted? To be so stressed to the max that he did not actually want to exist, was he depressed?

I was so angry at what had happened. I was angry that it had happened, I was angry that we let it happen and i quickly realised, my anger was a catalyst. I spent a fair amount of time accusing the paramedic, yes there was flaws to the way he spoke and his interactions, that made us hurt beyond belief and I did put a complaint in, because being told a 10 minute seizure was 'normal' was absolute bollocks and needed more attention, even if it did just seem like 'hyperventilation'. It was not normal for us, or anyone else we have spoken to. But I realise now, the parademic was not the reason the seizure happened and we can't spend any longer being angry at him. The stress was all us. The 50 hour work weeks, the stubborn attitudes plaguing our house, the constant adrenalin fueled existence, how could anyone survive this kind of torture? It was emotional, spiritual, physical and mental suicide and that indeed is what cause the traumatic episode.

I later found out that he just felt, that he needed to provide, and even though I told him countless times to cut down the hours and we needed him at home, not working himself to death, he would take on every single possible shift known to man, to save save save. Now there is no doubt that those shifts, has saved us, because he had saved enough money to stay home 2 months and that is when our journey would truly begin....

Prologue

…and just like that, one moment we were having a bit of an argument about money and he fell on the floor. It all seems like a blur now, but I remember three things going through my head by process of elimination.... 1. Is he messing around? Is he that angry that he is purposely smashing his head and thrashing around? 2. Oh crap! I don’t think he’s messing around 3. Oh my god! He might be having a seizure! What the hell do I do?
 

So I called 000.

I put my 14 month old in the cot, told her Mummy loves her and I am sorry but I need to help daddy right now. I spoke to the man on the other end of 000, not knowing what had just happened or what will happen once the nightmare was over. I explained exactly what happened, what he was going through, talked through the fact this was the first time, how the thrashing slowed down eventually and by that time the paramedic had arrived. The seizure lasted 10 minutes. The most frightening 10 minutes of our life.

My 29 year old fiancé, had indeed had a seizure. The paramedic was sure it was just a stress seizure and it was, ‘normal’, something to this day I would disagree with. It was not normal and it is not something anyone should go through in day to day life....But with this seizure brought complete emotional and spiritual change and we are glad that this mystery seizure scared us shitless to be a catalyst to a complete change in our life.