Emotional pain = Weight gain

So I've been really having a good think lately, mostly about weight loss and the emotional weight on weight loss. I know what helps lose weight as it is something I've been doing for the past 5 months. I really realised latelu though that if I don't properly deal with my emotional issues that cause severe emotional stress, then I am going to put the weight back on. All of the weight I have lost so far I really refer to as losing protection or emotional pain and not weight as that's how I see it. The more weight I lose, the more emotional issues I'm dealing with and in such a way that I am really noticing the difference in how I see the world and other people.

I'll give an example.

Recently I had severe issues with a housemate. In the past I'd have let the emotions drive me into despair and a kind of stress that created adrenalin madness and I would breakdown and never forgive them. I did go through the usual stressful emotional draining of pain from being treated badly, however I was able to forgive and understand that the actions taken against me were not malicious and were in fact done in such a way that were not purposefully impacting on me. The actions did not reflect me as a friend, however the person who was causing the actions, therefore no maliciousness was involved and I was able to pull any kind of defence I felt necessary and forgive.

This emotional issue that I was able to understand and forgive has really gained me a lot of insight into my own confidence and understanding that I let that emotional pain take me over and I DO have the choice to push it away and have the focus that the person who is causing the issue has no meaning behind it, they are just in a bad place.

Appt with lyn.

I've just realised I haven't updated since my first appointment with Lyn and my life was completely changed for the better.

Intense dietary and exercise focus has = 16 kg loss
Intense sense of self getting back = almost no anxiety and increase in confidence
Intense dealing with repressed emotions and issues that were creating constant fears
Learning to love myself
Learning to believe in myself
Learning to LISTEN to myself

What an amazing 5 months it has been!

After a long departure, I'm back

I have been away for a while. Trying to live the ups and downs of life, the ins and outs, trials and tribulations. Uni and work toook a strong hold on any life I had for quite a while, but now I'm back!

So something I've been learning about lately is about defence systems. We all according to Freud have an ego defence mechanism and this is often what can keep conflict going without an ability to just let go.

I always saw defending yourself as a vital thing in life because it's unfair to have people trolloping around accusing you of things that are completely unjust. However, I have now learnt that people will only hear what they want anyway, so if someone that feels a victim in a situation is talking trash, whoever they are telling will hear them and make their own judgement completely external anyway, no matter if they believe it or not, then if I went around convincing people I was the one who was full of truth, what's the point? It feels like it would be a whole lot of wasted breath as those that know who I am as a selfless person would know I do not act within a selfish realm and know I am rational in thought and fair in judgement.

In other words, let them say and think what they want, if you know that you acted with complete diligence and fairness than take that upon your sense of self and be happy.

In the end, you're all that matters as you're the only one you can completely trust.