I am glad my 'Adelaide' chapter is over with. Whilst living there, I had many trials and tribulations which I could have done without, however have learnt many lessons from. Living once again with Kane is nice. I've missed the happiness we both have when we just live us two. We are now at the 16 week pregnancy stint and it's getting a little more exciting each week. I'm at the point now where I no longer suffer from morning sickness which is nice, that was sucky!
Having to move/clean one house and then packing all my stuff to move to Melbourne plus dealing with all the other lease crap and finding a place in Melbourne whilst Kane worked fulltime was enough stress for a decade! But on the homestretch now, we are moving into January 2013 with much more significance for our own lives and confidence that we didn't have before. Kane has just finished his work for the season for the show South Pacific and is now looking for more work, hoping he will find some soon as his funds are slowly drying up and centrelink offers nothing but bleakness, even if it is a stepping stone, we need a little more funds to pay for our existing leases! November/December 2012 was an interesting month, I found myself reflecting back in behavioural patterns and what made me happy and what didn't so I could forsee not doing the same things that made me unhappy again, or as much.
Being surrounded by people who were negative and could not find the energy to do much but boss others around is something I want out of my life. I am far too relaxed, and the kind of person who just 'gets on with the job' without feeling the need to interfere in others lives, mostly due to the fact people need to change on their own merit, you can give advice but not force one to change. I lived with people who said they did one thing, yet did the complete opposite. I got so sick of being told I wasn't doing anything right, in every facet, by people who honestly sat on their ass for most of their time at home, while I was out studying and trying to get work. The energy of their beings made me hate living with them, they did not have positiveness surrounding them and my friends saw this as well and did not want to visit me due to these people making them feel uncomfortable. Constantly trying to force a way of life onto someone is just like forcing religion, it's completely unnecessary and just makes people feel uncomfortable, ESPECIALLY when they are hypocritical!!! Also they were dirty, so dirty. I am so happy to be in a clean environment where we do the dishes and don't just want to eat, make mess and sit on the couch all day.
December brought a crazy influx of energies for me INCLUDING morning sickness, so I had it double. Anytime I wasn't needed somewhere I spent it in bed sleeping as I felt quite ill most of the time. I had a few assignments to finish off for uni as well. The WANT to be in Melbourne was hard. I wanted to be there so bad and just have our own place, but it came in time and now we have a great little unit in West Footscray. The energy here is great too, much more appealing than anywhere I've lived in Adelaide. Perth had a similar energy for me when I lived there. I knew from 12 December the energy was going to be odd and it was.
The energy was draining so bad, it was also giving aches and pains like never before! My mum mentioned it many times how drained she was from the changes. 21st December there was a massive shift and I know a few people who felt much better, the harshness lifted and they felt light again. Christmas day brought a change that was once again draining. I could hardly get out of bed, and not because of the pregnancy, but just purely the draining energy! I knew the energy would get better once we got to NYE and it did. The full moon on Dec 28 also helped the energy balance out. We are now into 2013 and what an exciting year this one will be!
Not only are we going to be parents for the first time, but we start our life in a new state, we start a new life with a new community, we start new connections. It's going to be exciting. I can already feel the positivity creep in anytime I think something that may not be so positive. Anytime I think 'maybe pregnancy wasn't the best idea since Kane doesn't have stable work' and then I get this bounce back of 'No way, this HAD to happen when it did, it will give him confidence and keep him on the track and path he needs to be, also teaching and learning from a child will be perfect for his growth and yours' It's great that my inner voice is now going OI STOP THE NEGATIVE SHIT! it's what I need! So far this year has been great (yeah ok it has only been 2 days) but I foresee if we keep manifesting relaxed, non fearful, non anxious thoughts we will be carefree even when things aren't the best. Life doesn't have to be as fearful as we make it. You create your path. You create your existence. You make life what you want. No one can do it for you!!! Me at 16 weeks pregnant :)
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