First time new mother worries.

As a first time and new mother I always feel pressure that Im not doing things right. Partly my own self esteem and exhaustion I guess, but it’s also such a crazy world out there especially with the internet and all the different information being thrown back and forth.


I often wonder if Im creating bad habits but I find myself think back to historical ways of mothering and different cultures, how people in tribes they had support from other mothers or aunties to help care for the children while the fathers/men went off to scrounge for resources/food or trade goods. I am almost jealous of this. I miss having a friends base, I wish more of my friends had children and I often fantasise about that life where Im not stuck in a house with a child trying to keep sane. What would it be like to have support of family and/or friends? My support is my mother coming over once a month to give us a bit of a break. Because as much as I love my baby, it is a 24/7 job for a mother (also a father but they are often out at work) and can be difficult to keep at the same energy level as your thriving offspring.


Where did the world of support go? We spend our days judging one another for our different parenting methods with no realisation that we come from different backgrounds (sometimes countries, religions, cultures and so on) and often don’t think to ask why we do such things, just assume that it’s flatout wrong because it’s not the way we would parent out child/children. You can educate without being abusive.


My mothers generation had their issues sure, but they supported each other too, we knew our neighbours, now we live in a world where we hate everyone, it’s easier to hate people than to be nice to them because everyone has to do things OUR way. We have become a VERY selfish society. We constantly blame others for our own actions and play pity parties, if we just realised the world only works in reactions. The way we treat others and the energy we put out into the world really does often equal what we attract back. If we are still holding anger from the past, how do we move on to a bright and positive future?


ANYWAY I DIGRESS.


I often feel like I’m not doing ‘things right’ because sometimes during the night Im so tired Ill pull my 7 month old if she wakes up really upset and I can’t calm her down and pop her in bed with me, but it calms her down and she sleeps so what’s the big deal? She doesn’t use it as a habit, it’s a once upon a time thing and in the end am I bad for that? Am I making my baby who only born 7 months ago wanting to connect and be held all the time addicted to connection and love? She is safe in our bed as my partner will then sleep in the spare bed and there is a border of pillows. It makes her feel secure and safe, why is that such a bad thing? I try to get her to soothe herself in the cot, which she often does but sometimes she needs a little extra TLC. Why is that looked down upon? Cots are surely a disconnection tool at times? Especially when the baby is left to cry and they learn from that very very young age that they are on their own.


I have seen what these kind of experiences do to babies, as adults. I do not know ONE person whose parent/s let them CIO that has come out connected and emotionally attached.
I come to the conclusion that Intuition, it’s everything and block out ALL the bullshit. Do what is best for YOUR child and YOUR environment at the time.


Every child is an individual, I do believe they are born with a certain personality. I was born independent and very active - as a baby and child I was exactly this and still am as an adult. My brother was independent and quite chilled he is still this way and my other brother was clingy and emotionally dependent, he is still like this as he is older. Kane was a very passive baby and is a very passive adult. See the baby for who they are and work with them :)