How your life changes.

Its incredible how your life changes once you have a baby.
It is like NOTHING you can imagine.
Even if you've been around babies.
Actually having your own baby, it is YOUR sole responsibility 24/7.
It's an amazing journey of sleep deprivation, stress, abundant cuddles and unconditional love.
It's a bit of a death defying rollercoaster, and in the end of the day I thank goodness for the 'good' hormones that filled me full of love and life when I smelt/saw/heard my baby. Or truth be told, I'd probably exited stage left pretty quickly!

My other half and I decided we would move interstate, not only for career change, but for a 'sea' change. The state we were living in, was for us, unlivable.
So basically it means no immediate support.
I say immediate, because I know my brothers and parents would jump on a plane if we needed them, but there's noone to babysit if we need, or just give us a break so we can clean, we are completely reliant on each other.
This may not sound so bad, but my other half works very intermittetly. So he works LONG hours and LONG weeks sometimes, sometimes little work is available, but that's only a couple days in between and he's often recuperating from such long shifts, so I get help with the little one, but it's on and off.

I appreciate everything he does for our family, we are currenty saving for our wedding and other things in life, so he is working towards our future, which is the most endearing thing a man could do for me, and give me cuddles at night, which I also get. I'm a cancer so I need security, he is giving me this. Our life has been very balanced lately, because I have been making decisions around what I NEED to survive healthily without stress, because the stress IS unnecessary and not needed if we can balance life. WE have been doing a good job so far. He will often get up with the little one if he can in the mornings and give me a little sleep in, even an extra hour sometimes it enough. He will clean if I ask him, or do the dishes or do the washing. He helps out in every way he can in between those big shifts, so he is indeed a fantastic support when we need.

I do miss my mum and dad though. I miss them because I know they'd be here if we needed anything. I know we would be less stressed without them, however would we be as resilient? I do think we need this so that we don't become dependant on them and they are there when we need.

& we get no support from the other half's parents, so that's not even relevant ever.

Some days I feel like I am busting my ass for nothing, but I know that it will all be welcomed and appreciated and I get to wake up with a clean house, or dishes done, or washing done and it hasn's all overflowed and making me stressed. I am getting good sleep now, better at calming myself down. My adrenalin was off the grid for a while, my hormones were really unbalanced just from 8 months of lack of sleep, but getting the little one to drink more water has helped considerably.

My friend had a baby recently, he is only 8 weeks old, sometimes I think I'd love to have another babe close in age, but sometimes the thought frightens me. How would I get ANYTHING done?

We are better off for our life and what it is, I will not regret a single thing.
And hey we get to fly out to see my parents for a week and a half and I'm sure I'll get lots of babysitting!

Everything happens on it's own rhythm and rhyme and the circle of life goes on.