re-Connection

So after feeling quite disconnected for quite some time, especially through September which was a huge lesson of self worth with a few interesting and challenging energy shifts, I went to the mind, body and soul festival with my mum. Not knowing at all what I would get out of it, I ended up experiencing things I would keep close and that would help me connect again in October. First I experienced some intuitive moments and bought a large amethyst and a beautiful clear quartz, as I knew they would be keys in cleansing and healing in October. I had a reading and drawing done and it was an indian man (my guide) and a wolf. The spirit wolf represents my teachings and wisdom that I will provide throughout my life, my experiences and knowledge to help others through their current experiences. This is something I have noticed and known I was doing, but it is always great to get a know of my purpose. I had a few shifts of energy where I was downloading a lot of knowledge of what I would do to help others and was not sure how. I had also been experiencing issues that I was treating with negativity and a real 'doom' and by doing this I was manifesting this into the situation. Now being able to use the amethyst and clear quartz to clear my negative energies at night I sleep well, wake up well and am manifesting a happier energy. I am working much more on following my intuition day to day and am finding it extremely rewarding. I found that my meditation has taken a positive shine to it because I am manifesting clarity, love, harmony. In my meditation last night I was open to the whole idea that we live in an illusion. It was confronting at first and I wasn't sure if I wanted to meditate more. I could see the energy moving around me and I felt like the walls were almost flickering, like they weren't real. I then realised, that so what? It is not what we 'see' to feel we need to exist, it is merely what we create in our existence. That helped the confronting panic that was soon lost. This has been a hard journey and October hits a 2 year mark for me and is interesting, because 7 October was the day I lost a close friend to suicide. I am not sad and do not grieve for Beth, I have spoken to her spirit and I know she had to go and she in a happier place now. What is interesting to me is the changes I have personally made from when I found out, to now. The journey I have been on has been challenging and confronting, however always learning and connecting spiritually. I also bought a Himalayan salt lamp which no doubt has helped refresh my energies. Clarity is definitely a manifestation I am working well with right now. It taught me how important it is, that we really do manifest what we create and how that can really send us down a different path if we let it.