10 May - Mothers Day Photos - Lecinda Ward Photography - A proud mother, proud Nanma & proud Mother in law.

10 May - Mothers Day Photos - Lecinda Ward Photography - To us she is perfection.

10 May - Mothers Day photos - Lecinda Ward Photography - Emotionally moving. Pt 1. Proud Dad.

Seriously though. How has it been 11 months?

Appreciation.

Appreciation of other half today. We both had a very rough night with little miss 10 months crawling everywhere & teething everywhere & me & little miss being massive grumps this morning. He made little miss breakfast, made me a coffee, did the dishes, put a load of bubs’ washing out & did the first leg of putting little miss down for her morning nap, then gave me a big hug and told me I’m the best Mum and ran himself a little behind schedule for work. It definitely made me 90% less stressed and now I’m mooshy and teary, but bless him. He has made my heart fuller & I needed that today. Most people can’t wait for the weekend, but his work week started today, so I’ll be patiently waiting for tuesday!
So we had a 12-3:20am crawl/grumble fest, this morning I dealt with overwhelming poos(I took her nappy off and the turd went rolling, yep and then I missed the bin in my grump and had to pick it off the kitchen floor wtf!) , a big wee all over her change table, took her in the shower with me, oh yay soapy baby is slippery, and then she played like crazy til it was nap time, which she fought but I got her down eventually. Once she wakes up we are going to a lady at playgroups house to have some delicious food and try some baby wrapping skills. Seriously. I need this today. Lily please be gentle on Mummy.

I spent many years watching my mum go through a similar torment with my dad & I said I’d never go through that. My brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor at 3 and my dad worked instead of support my mum through the surgery & rehab & I was only 1 at the time (his boss told him to take time off). To this day I don’t know how they survived their marriage, he has now grown to be the best dad, husband & poppa, but it has taken him 40 or so years to realise the damage he did by cutting off emotionally. I think thats the only reason we are so strong, is he has seen the damage that can be done if he doesn’t listen to me when I say I am literally about to CRACK! The last 10 months has really shown us we can either fall apart or fight together, I am lucky I have a fighter & he deals with me challenging him!

Once upon a time Id have cried my eyes out, having a meltdown and he’d have been going off to work with no idea I needed him to just hug me and tell me I will be okay. This morning just that hug to tell me I am the best Mum and I can get through it made my world!

Soulmates.

I have a belief that we have many soulmates in life. I have had some that have come and gone. At the moment I know in my heart that my partner is definitely my soulmate.

Writers block.

I've been trying to come up with the effort to write for a few days now...I wonder why I always put it off. I have as much of important stories to tell than anyone. While I was away in Melbourne I had more spiritual exeriences with Kane. This is happening more and more everytime we see each other because together we are so important spiritually and energetically. We were in the motel room and I was trying to sleep, I felt like my head wanted to explode and was finding it very frustrating. I also felt Kanes spirit guide in the room, which always keeps me awake as he only seems to communicate with me. I was quite fatigued before I went to Melbourne but whilst in Melbourne I felt much more awake. This night I was a complete insomniac, driven by fear due to having to move Kane out of his old house which was fuelled by dark energy to the new place. I had a really horrible white vision of what was told to me was an inorganic being. Funnily enough through doing some research tonight, I have made the realisation, you only give the inorganic ARCHON beings ability to phase you and take control of your "ego" insular thoughts if you CREATE THE FEAR and believe in them. So life for me has taken an interesting turn, I've felt extremely fatigued once I got back from Adelaide, feeling unwell, fuzzy in the head, bad memory, stress possibly and I know I have to quit my job, but the actual DOING of that is stressing me out HOWEVER the thought of going back to my job is possibly stressing me out more than that, so yeah, time for new things. Am I low on vitamins? I don't even know anymore. It seems everytime I have inflammation or pain there's never an answer to it. Doctors can't find anything. It is excruciating.