Lesson #1 - Don't take your own life.

Something I heard today, "never create something permanent for a temporary situation".

as in, don't commit suicide over the end of a relationship or something less permanent.

One of my close friends recently killed herself. Bethany often spoke of feeling like she did not need/want to exist anymore. This I find easier to understand as I have felt like this before.

I will still however advocate the "staying alive" idea in any situation no matter what strain of horrible it is. Stay alive, live out what life has to throw at you, take on the challenges and see where your choices land you.

LESSON #1 DON'T TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE

(Thoughts after seeing a grumpy old person on the bus)

Imagine:
80 Years old
So much life experience
What do you do with your days?
Watch tv?
Grumble?
Waiting to die?

To think that at that age all a person would want to do is sit all day.
I guess that could go either way because why at 20 would a person want to do that same thing?

Sleeping all day and getting gratification out of it?
I find this unusual.
Yet once upon a time I did live this life.

I am not an overly motivated person but I feel sorry for people who have no aspirations for life or wants or goals for their future.

I'm not saying I haven't been there. Sad, depressed, anxious, feeling so low that I feel so hopeless, like nothing good will ever happen to me again. This was how I lived for a very long time.
Everytime something happened in my life, I crashed.
I would always know that it was a lesson that I was to learn, for me to make a choice and therefore felt stronger for the fall.

I realise this and therefore learn there is nothing wrong with failing, because I have definately failed a lot in life. Failed in career, study, life choices, financials, family decisions and how they were treated, sure I was a crap daughter, but with every failure came a lesson and hopefully,
the future,
and therefore,
better days!

It takes time for wounds to heal, I learnt that after many a heart break or unrequieted feelings or anything that happened that went against my favour.

Now the poem with the story...

You came around the other night.
I saw the bandages.
I saw the cuts.
I felt your pain.
I have lived this life before.
I understood.


I sat feeling hopeless,
Tears running uncontrollably down your face.
Eyes puffy from crying non-stop for hours.
Your soul was broken and you wanted a quick fix,
This was not possible.

I wish you could see....
Life is more than past regrets and happenings,
You can have a desirable future,
You can look past that hurt and suffering,
The mistiness in front of you is only temporary.

I also know that no matter what anyone says,
You will choose one way or the other,
To help yourself, or crash yourself.
Your choice.

It will take some, my love.
Friends and family are so important at this time.
You can call on your support when you break down.
Never forget we are here for you.
If you fall, get up and learn.
I promise one day you will feel refreshed.

Don't run away from these feelings.
They will only come back to haunt you.

Open to those you trust.
My love and thoughts will always be with you.

P.S Don't kill yourself..


Written for a very dear friend in 2007.
She's still alive, living life and happy.