Written in 2007

A tragedy of hate
by ~Odetosummer

She sat in the corner.

Filled with rage and unable to find any happiness within her pathetic excuse for a body. Tears streamed down her sunken cheeks. Nothing was normal anymore. Her thoughts were tainted. The lies did not fit into the normal pattern of life anymore. Wishes were all she had to keep herself sane. Hope. Hope for love, life. For a better day tomorrow, if it comes.

She crawled into her room and curled up on her bed into a ball. She reached out under her bed and found a photograph from her year 12 graduation. She pulled it out and thought to herself,
"Wow I looked so different back then., before the breakdown."

She then looked into the mirror, which was hanging on her door. She stared.

How sad that the sunken face she saw before her, scared her more than anything. Sadly enough, she was actually comforted that she would never feel unloved like she used to.

How fat she was, how ugly. She could never change, this is her, set for life now, or set for death.

This is her movie and this is the final scene.

She sighed and leant over for the knife, which was glimmering in the candlelight. She grasped the knife and all of it's beauty.
As she had cried out for help in the past, it had done nothing but made her suffer. Her parents had booked her into a rehab clinic for chronic depression. Where had that got her?

They made her put on weight, and made her try to sort out her past problems. Past problems, come on, like they will ever be resolved. Half of the situations she had been in as a child, she had never even told the psychs. Why would she, when all they did was judge her and try to make her forgive them. Forgive a man who forced her to have sex with him from the age of 6. Who made her hate herself so much she turned to the knife and self mutilation to take the pain away?

I don't think so. She decided from the moment it happened that she would never forgive him.

What a joke.

As she thought of past convictions, she turned on her stereo and blasted it so noone would hear her screams. The thought of her parents sitting in the next room made her smile.

The one thought of them finding her, a horrible, naked bloody mess, made her the happiest person in the world.

Sad?

You might be thinking that, but the fact that the man who had molested her for 9 years, was her father and the woman, who gave birth to her and gave her life, acted like none of it had ever happened.

What would you do?

How would you act?

Would you hate yourself as well?

There is only one clear answer.

Yes.

As she began to slice the pain of the years away, her heart lifted and made her feel a happiness that she has never imagend she could feel.

She sliced out every night that he came into her room and made her fell a pain that no one should feel.

Sliced away the looks that he gave her.

Sliced away the shivers down her spine whenever she layed her head down to sleep.

She watched as the crimson blood ran freely from her veins, the colour felt so real and it made her smile.

You might think why would some one cut themselves to feel this pain. but all i can tell you is that the light that comes from the blood, lifts your soul and you feel free, free like the blood now pouring from her veins.

Until you do it yourself there is no way to explain it other that this.

Being free and without pain.